Days Ten, Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen

I've been lazy, here's a recap!

Saturday August 30, 2008
Routine: 4 Min run 1 Min walk x 6
Route: All over Johnson's park.

If you remember back from last Friday, I did this routine. I also gave up on this routine and managed to jump start myself back into it and finish after taking a 10 second break. I wrote "I know I can totally do this" (scroll down it's true!) Ha! SIKE. I gave up on the first minute of the fifth run. My ankles hurt, my shins were in pain and there was just no way in hell I was going to finish. I felt miserable and I just didn't want to do it anymore. I felt so hard on myself. I thought if I can't do this run, how am I ever going to do any runs. I tried to cheer myself up, relax on Sunday and go into Monday stronger.

Monday September 1, 2008
Routine: Run 5 min Walk 1 Min X 5.
Route: Route: From my apartment, down Benner to Cedar Lane to Route 27 for two blocks back down to Benner back home.

This was a mission and yet again, I got to taste the bitter taste of defeat. Rutgers Football and I, a bunch of losers. I gave up with about 9 more minutes to go. Wonderful!! We started up hill, waking up my ankles were screwed. I had no desire to ever go on this run and neither did Andrew. After the third rep. he let me know he had nothing in the tank. There was no desire for him to run either. His lack of motivation, only confirmed mine and once again I was disappointed that I was a failure. I chalked it up to "I have to listen to my body." Set up different running routines in my head. If I do this and fail, I'll switch it up and finis the whole 30 minute work out this way...was all I had in my mind on the shameful walk home. I wasn't giving up on running, rather I was giving up on the Runner's World 8 Week Schedule. I'm not running to fit anyone's schedule, I'll get to where I need to be, when I want to be there. Running is solely for me right now. I was proud that I wouldn't let two disappointing runs discourage me, upset that I couldn't live up to what I thought I could.

Tuesday September 2, 2008
Walk Day.

We walked from the apartment to Salon Envy and back. Talked about everything and anything. Went to Stop and Shop, bought some groceries. I cooked dinner and proceeded to be lazy from that point forward. Regardless of whatever grand ideas I had in mind when it came to making this place look habitable.

Wednesday September 3, 2008
Routine: Run 5 min Walk 1 min x 5.
Route: From the apartment to Benner, to fourth, to Mansfield to Graham, to Benner, to Felton, repeat once and home.

Today, is my ninth run. My make or break point. Let me just start off by saying, that I went to bed entirely too late last night and woke up ridiculously early this morning. I have cramps, the walk to work was the worst walk of my life. Work itself was insane because school just started and when it was 5:00. I had no desire to come home, stretch, run my ass off and then get to clean my apartment. I got out later then expected. Got home and asked Andrew to give me at least a half hour before we embarked on this 5min run 1 min walk adventure I didn't think I had a shot of winning. After losing track of time to complain about The View, I got ready, stretched and headed out the door. Had a plan not to start up the ridiculous 11th Street hill. Learned an important lesson in pace and steadying oneself and low and behold ladies and gents. I walked home, 5 intervals later. My ninth run, my beginner's benchmark, successful! My lungs never felt full of lava, my ankles never felt like they were going to snap. (my knee kinda hurts, but whatever) In fact on my last interval, I felt like I could run all the way home and that was an additional 4 blocks home. I was on fire not my aching body.

I'm enthralled. I can do this. I can do this but more importantly I can cut my losses and learn from them. I can also reward myself when I deserve it. I don't let myself get so disheartened by defeat. I'm so happy with myself right now.